PYHO: It's not a contest!

I was on Facebook the other day, looking at a friend's video that he had posted for Father's Day. It was sort of a mess but he's young and not terribly computer literate. Heck, neither am I for that matter. Anyway, the video was blurry and you could barely hear him and his sister posted some really ugly comments and I commented for her to stop being mean. These two compete for EVERYTHING!!! To the point of being downright annoying. They're great kids but they've been taught that they're in a competition for everything. I used to work with them and I remember saying repeatedly, "It's not a contest"! They said that in their house, it was. It made me sad.


I started thinking about that and realized that I tend to look at life that way. But, "It's not a contest"! I'm not the tallest, shortest, skinniest, fattest, smartest or dumbest, I'm just me. That should be good enough, but, until the other day, I didn't think so. I competed with the world, even in my car. I wanted to be first. However, having a Ricky Bobby mentality made me a little crazy so I decided to stop. Obviously, this is going to be something that I have to make up my mind to do every day. It will have to be a very conscious decision. I'm also going to need to reconcile a few things in my mind to be able to allow for this change, but it's happening. 


I don't really know why I'm so competitive but I definitely am. Even at meaningless board games, I don't like to lose and sometimes I act the fool. I've gotten better about it as I've gotten older but I realized that part of that is because I expect myself to be perfect. Why??? I have no idea but it's going to make me old before my time so I'm stopping that. I have to realize that, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me"! I know, I just quoted Stuart Smalley but hey, he had the right idea. I have to stop beating myself up over different aspects of myself that I don't like.


For instance, my weight. I hate being fat. So I have to do something about it. I have to drink more water, eat more veggies and lean meat. I have to have some balance in what I eat and drink. However, no more beating myself up over it. Yep, I'm fat, but I'm not going to stay that way. I'm going to make it a point to go to the gym at least 3-4 times a week. I'm going to get back down to a size 14. Of course, I need a job so that I can afford my gym membership but that's going to happen eventually too.


I have to stop beating myself over the head with the fact that I don't have a job yet. Apparently, I'm not the only one in this boat! Several of my friends from school don't have jobs either and there's not really any good reason why. I've redone my resume and am going to start applying again. I also have my registered nurse license and that should be a big help. I'm going to have 3 of my instructors write me a recommendation letter along with some of the doctors that I've worked with in the past. Then I'll look like the stellar employee that I am!!!


So, there it is. I'm going to be me and be happy with me!!! Have a great rest of the week and weekend all!!! :)