PYHO

There is something that I totally want to blog about but can't because there is a possibility that the incident that I want to blog about could cause problems in my life, personally, and I just can't have that. I guess that I could go ahead and say what I want to say but I figure this is something that I need to address in person.

So, today I will talk about something else...or I will try. This thing is weighing so heavily on me that I would love to share it with my bloggy friends so that I can get your opinion...but I can't. So, I'll blog about something else, once I figure out what I want to blog about. I have pretty much told everything the last two weeks of PYHO. So, I'll blog about things we can't say. (I guess I'm stealing Shell's idea here) There are times when I would like to say exactly what I am thinking. There are people who make me want to unleash a fury of words that are terrible and hurtful and yet, I don't. Sometimes I wonder if it would really do as much damage as I think it would. I sometimes think that we're better off just saying what we think. Obviously you have to be tactful and not say things you can't take back but I also believe that sometimes we just need to tell the truth, even if it hurts. That's sort of the situation I found myself in that I mentioned above. The only problem is, if I had said exactly what I was thinking then, I'm afraid that it would have lead to a physical altercation. That's not something that I am interested in. I don't think that physical violence solves anything, especially between adults. I fear that if I say what I want to say, to a specific person in my life...that will be the result. I would never initiate it but the other party probably would. It's been threatened twice previously so I don't know that it wouldn't happen. I wouldn't continue it or return the violence but the outcome for the other party would be battery charges because I refuse to tolerate that kind of behavior. I don't know...I would like to think that it wouldn't happen but I'm not that optimistic. This person has very erratic behavior so I never know what to expect. I tend to expect the worst but until this last incident I have been very pleasantly surprised. However, this is an issue that will tend to affect my future and my future children. The hostility is okay when it's directed at me but I will not tolerate that kind of behavior being directed at my children. I don't know, sometimes I feel like if I say what I'm thinking, no matter how I say it, even in a nonconfrontational way, it will cause conflict. However, I know that something has to be said...now I just have to figure out how to say it!