Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

Sometimes I wonder about myself...I tend to attract people that are "needy" and I can't really figure out why I keep letting this happen. Don't misunderstand, I like to help people and I enjoy it but I get really frustrated when they "won't" let me help them. I have two friends that are specifically this way. One of them, her husband tells her that I am a bad influence and not to talk to me because I call him out on his crap. That's just how I am, I'm gonna tell you if you're full of it. Plus, I feel like we all need to have a little personal responsibility and not blame our "problems" on a disease or meds, we still have some control...so use it!!!  I take responsibility for my crap, even though I don't want to so I think that he needs to also. You know? The worst part is that this friend is an amazing person who has enough on her plate without his stuff too, she is physically handicapped but he uses that to his advantage and that irritates me beyond belief. I guess the worst part is that I'm not even sure that he really loves her and she deserves better. I could go on and on about it but I won't.

My other friend is someone that I'm just not sure I know how to help...it's almost like she's a lost soul. We were really close for about eight years and then we just stopped talking. I think that I made her mad and her boyfriend at the time was feeding her all kinds of crap about me. He was just that way, very slick and slimy and able to convince you that he was right. She has a lot going on right now and has just made a very big change in her life. She is in the process of getting divorced and has moved and started a new job, all of which are very stressful. That is compounded with the fact that she has some issues from her childhood that carry over into adulthood...I have some of these same issues so I know where she's coming from. It's a process to work through and it's not easy to do and it affects every aspect of your life. So there's all of that...and it just makes things that much harder.

I guess it frustrates me that I feel like I have to fix their problems. I don't, I have my own issues, but I can't stop myself, it comes natural to me. I have always been the "counselor" in my friendships and relationships. I guess I let it overwhelm me so I have to figure out how to keep it in check. That's where I'm having the problem, I tend to think about things and talk about things repeatedly until I come up with an acceptable solution. That's how I problem solve and there's nothing wrong with that but it can overtake other aspects of my life...see, it's just a vicious cycle. Of course, knowing that I am that way is helpful because now I know how to work on it...but retraining the brain is a big pain in the butt!!! I like the instant gratification and that doesn't happen with this sort of thing, that's just not how it works, which could be part of my frustration. So I just have to keep working on it, like all the other things I want to work on...at the end of this next year, I could be nearly perfect if I get it all under control!!! LOL!!! Yeah right and if you believe that, I have some ocean front property in Arizona that I'll sell you for cheap! ;)

So, everyone go link up with Shell and pour your heart out!!!!