I sit here watching "Teen Mom" & my heart is breaking for these girls. They are so young & having to go through things that I cannot imagine. First of all, I am not a mom so I can't imagine that stress, plus I am not a teenager. I am EXTREMELY grateful that I am not a teen any longer, I would hate to have to go back to that...LOL!!! Having a child, no matter what age, is stressful but add the stress of being a teenager & I can't imagine. That would be crazy. I remember thinking that I wanted a baby when I was 18. I even made a list of potential fathers, which is crazy, but not, because, you want someone to need you. That is a natural desire of a woman's heart, God made us that way but sometimes we have to make a good decision for ourselves & anyone else involved. Having a baby at 18 would not have been the right decision, but if I had managed to accomplish that, then I would have had to live with it & figure out the best thing to do for me & my child. I am torn as I sit here though, thinking that maybe that was my chance...of course, that's not true but sometimes it feels that way. So I sympathize with these girls in that respect. The thing is, it was a conscious decision at the time but I chose not to go through with it. I remember the time that I thought I was pregnant...how scary. I was 19, living alone in Lubbock & the potential father was not someone that I would have wanted to be attached to for the rest of my life. This raises another issue for teens: sex education. I personally think that we should teach them that abstinence is the best way but if they choose to have sex then they need to try to be safe. I think we have to logically present both sides of the argument & not just focus on trying to "scare" them out of having sex, that clearly doesn't work. We have a high rate of pregnancy in Texas because the "religious right" thinks that we should teach abstinence only which is obviously not working. There was an article in the Dallas paper that I read that gave the teen mother statistics for Texas & I was shocked!!! Not only do these girls have a first baby in their teens but many, about 75% go on to have more...is that crazy??? Obviously, with those kind of statistics, abstinence teaching only & just teaching about diseases is not working...I'm not saying that we should condone teenagers having sex, I just think we need to give them more information!!! This is going to take some major planning & clearly I don't have all the answers but the "if you have sex you'll get a disease" philosophy clearly doesn't work either. So anyway, these are just my thoughts...
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2 comments:
When my daughter was 14, I had "the talk" with her. No, I do not want you to have sex because you'd be doing it for the wrong reason. When you are ready to have sex, here's the number of a gyn who can help you protect yourself against disease and unwanted pregnancy. You can do this on your own if you wish. You need information. I hope you decide to wait.
Human nature is human nature. Teens have been having sex always. Saying "no" is fine, but it doesn't work. Educate them.
You know, that is something that really hit home to me after Kristi emailed me an article about teen pregnancy in Texas...it was shocking & sad. Texas teaches abstinence only which clearly doesn't work, according to this article but also according to my personal experience. I didn't start having sex at an extremely young age like some of the girls I know but when I was a freshman in high school they were talking about putting in a nursery which is INSANE, except it would have been necessary. Good for you for talking to your daughter, it seems some parents would rather leave that up to the schools & that, in my opinion, is not parenting! :)
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