Judge ye not?

Today in my OB class we talked about abortion. This is always a very controversial and emotional subject for everyone involved, regardless of their viewpoint. Medically speaking, the term abortion applies to any pregnancy loss whether spontaneous or induced. Immediately after these words came out of my instructor's mouth, the grumbling began. It is what it is, simply a definition. We use the term miscarriage because abortion is too harsh for most people when referring to a spontaneous pregnancy loss.

There is a person in our class that is extremely opinionated and tries to inflict their opinion on everyone else. I say inflict because this person seems to genuinely believe that they are the only one that belives correctly and that if you disagree with them then that just makes you uneducated. That being said, my personal opinion on that is that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I have my own personal beliefs that influence my life based on Christian values. However, there is a lot to be said for perception. When anyone says the word abortion, most people immediately think of an induced abortion. I think this is due to Roe v Wade and the use of the word abortion in that trial. But I digress, today, this person made a comment along the lines that women who have had one or more abortions should be sterilized or something along those same lines of absurdity. The logorrhea continued on until I finally said, "You can't judge them until you have walked a mile in their shoes".  This person then replied that a woman considering abortion should consider people who can't have kids and their desire for a baby, any baby and that this person's sister and brother-in-law had been waiting 5 or so years to have a baby. I said, "I've been waiting 12 years". It's true, I have been waiting 12 years to have a baby but I still don't feel that I have the right to essentially condemn these women who choose induced abortion. I can say with about 90% certainty that I wouldn't choose to have an induced abortion in any situation but, I don't know for sure. I've never been in a situation that I had to make that choice, thankfully. My position may change once I have given birth or adopted a child, we will see.

I just think that as a nurse or any medical professional, you must be able to be nonjudgmental regardless of your beliefs about a person's medical decisions. That doesn't mean that I have to condone or agree with the choices that my patients make, however, they still deserve the best care that I can possibly give regardless of my feelings. If they ask my opinion, I will tell them that their choice most likely wouldn't have been my choice and then I can elaborate from there. That may sound like double-speak but it isn't. If I were taking care of a patient who had an induced abortion and they asked me if I would have one, I would say probably not. If they asked me why then I would elaborate. However, the way that I would communicate with a patient depends on too many factors to be scripted. People communicate very differently so I would have to convey my beliefs without the patient feeling like I am condemning them.

I could go on about this for an eternity but I won't. I just wonder, regardless of what you believe, do you have the right to tell someone that they made the wrong decision when there is no possible way for you to have all the facts?