Friday Confessional

I have a lot to confess today. First of all, I haven't been to Friday confessional in who knows how long. I have a million things to do today and yet I sit here on my booty reading blogs. Now I'm typing one which makes me a little more productive but not really. I start school on Tuesday and so I will probably be participating in the blog world much less. Nursing school keeps me super busy...I have kind of a love/hate relationship with it. However, the upside is, I'm on the downhill slope so I'm excited!!! I will graduate in May with my associate degree in nursing. Then it's on to my bachelors and masters! I'm pretty excited about that too.

I kind of got my feelings hurt the other day. My husband's aunt told me that I should at least wait a year before going to get my masters because I might like "just" being a floor nurse. I put the just in quotes because I know those nurses work their butts off and deserve more than a just, I also know that she didn't mean it that way having been a floor nurse herself. Still, it hurt my feelings because I've never been so sure of anything in my life...but then again, she may be right. Who knows? Perhaps I should just get over it because I know she didn't mean it that way!

I am trying desperately to get a job. I need one, I don't want one. However, in order to have all the things that I want, I'm going to have to get a job. Plus, getting on at one of the hospitals here will ensure that I have a job after graduation. I don't know if we're staying here after I graduate but we might, it just depends. I think we will most likely though because the hubs needs knee surgery. I'm hoping that if I get a job he'll be able to go ahead and have it though!

That's all I can think of at the moment! Happy Friday everyone!!! Go link up with Glam to play along!

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday

If you want to pour your heart out, go link up with Shell. Please remember that people are pouring their hearts out and to be respectful in your comments! :)

Well, I had about three-quarters of a blog typed when my computer decided to close the window...which is totally irritating...so I decided to pour my heart out about something different. My previous post was about school and getting my master's and having people give me advice about it but as I sat here, I thought about something else that I've been thinking a lot about lately.

I am not entirely sure that I want to have kids. I think that makes me sound really selfish and I have to admit that some of the reasons that I don't want kids are selfish. I will have more money and more free time. However, my other reasons, I think, are totally unselfish. I don't want my kids to have to go through the things that I did, not that my childhood was terrible, it was pretty idyllic if anything but being a kid is hard. I think being a parent might be even harder. I read lots of blogs where mothers are worried about things for their children and I wonder if I am capable of that. I also feel like I will be being selfish by choosing to work. I don't think I have it in me to be a stay at home mom. I admire the women who do, I just don't think it's me. I enjoy my life as it is right now...minus the craziness of school. I enjoy being able to go and do whenever and whatever I want without having to worry about getting a baby sitter or having enough money to take the kids with me. I'm afraid that I'll make the wrong decision when it comes to public school versus home school. I know that I will not be a perfect parent, I don't expect that, but what if I make a mistake that screws my kid up forever? Maybe this is perfectly normal to feel this way...I don't know. It's weird because up until now, having kids has always been something that I wanted and lately, I seem to be leaning the opposite way. In fact, a previous PYHO post was about my fertility struggles. (If you want to read it go here. It was actually a Friday confessional, not a PYHO but same vein.)

Here lately, we have been surrounded by a lot of drama with some of the kids we know. I don't want to see my kids have to go through some of the things that they are. One set is dealing with divorce and I'm not worried about my kids dealing with that, the hubs and I are solid. However, it makes me sad to think that my teenager might have to give another teenager advice about dealing with divorce. I had friends whose parents got divorced and I gave them the best advice that I could but I didn't really know what they were going through, my parents were still married. I don't know, it just seems that there are a lot of decisions when it comes to kids and I don't know if I have the capability of making them. Not only that but I'm 33, I don't even want to start trying again, if we decide to go that route, until I graduate. I'll be 34 and considered high risk, regardless. So that sucks too. I don't want to have to struggle through all of that fertility stuff again either and I know that we'll have to. At least we know what we're dealing with but getting pregnant won't be a snap either. I don't know, it's not that I think I'll be this terrible parent, I just don't know if I want to...and that makes me feel like I'm selfish. I love kids, I love my nieces and nephews. I also love having my house to myself and having my hubby to myself. I like being able to spend money on things that I want and not forego it because one of my kids needs something. I like being able to plan a trip on the spur of the moment...and yeah, there's a lot of I's in those statements. So maybe I am just selfish...I don't know....

Post-It-Note-Tuesday

To make post-its, go here. Then go link up with Supah!!!

Monday Minute

If ya wanna play, go link up with Ian! Kimber is cohosting this week!!!

If you could have plastic surgery, would you? If so, what would you get done?
Yep, I would have my boobs done and some lipo and my lips...I think that's it though.

What laws have you broken?
Well, I speed...pretty much every time I drive...and there are some other ones but I can't tell all my secrets!!!

What is your quirkiest habit?
I separate m&m's and skittles when I eat them. I've done it since I was a little kid, it's my OCD thing.

If you only had 3 songs to listen to for the rest of your life what would they be?
Um...this is super hard. I love music and I don't know if I would survive having only 3 songs to listen to.
"You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon
"We're Not Gonna Take It" by Bif Naked (the original is awesome but this one's harder)


"You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin" by David Allan Coe

How often do you have sex?
2-3 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less...just depends.

GTKY Sunday

 

 Go link up with Keely to play!!!

 

The Q's.

1. What kind of athlete has the hottest body?

2. Are you a planner or a procrastinator?

3. Diet or regular (soda)?

4. What's your one "must have" for Fall?

5. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?

6. What do you think is the sexiest profession for a guy?

7. Did you wear braces?

8. Would you rather have a guy that's super sexy or kind?

-----------------------------------------------

1. What kind of athlete has the hottest body?

I personally like football players because I like the big guys, with big shoulders!

2. Are you a planner or a procrastinator?
Oh I am a total procrastinator...I plan but I usually don't get around to it...LOL

3. Diet or regular soda?
I drink regular coke...diet stuff is just nasty and it's worse for you!!!

4. What's your one "must have" for Fall? 
 I don't have one...I would like lots of things but being a student without a full time job, I just can't have anything yet! :) I'm excited about football though!!!

5. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
Taco Villa or Chik-Fil-A

6. What do you think is the sexiest profession for a guy?
I think men that work hard, at any profession are sexy! I know of enough that don't work at all and that's just pathetic!!!

7. Did you wear braces?
Yes, I wore those torture devices for 3 1/2 years...

8. Would you rather have a guy who's super sexy or kind?
Kind because that makes them sexy!          

Grr...

I really wanted to change my layout to this cute thing from shabbyblogs.com but I can't...it's very annoying. They had tons of cute layouts but alas, I am not savvy enough for that!!! I decided to go clean out my email after that because I have one of my six, yes six emails because I get a LOT of newsletters. I unsubscribed and deleted until I was down from 800 or so to 300 or so...crazy, I know. I need to stay on top of that account but I don't and then I just get overwhelmed!!!

I read an interesting article about retiring to Belize on Yahoo. Then I read an article about the seven cheapest places to retire. One of them was Mexico...as if I didn't know that but how safe is that?!?!? I would think not very...but that's just my opinion! France was listed which sort of shocked me. Obviously, I never looked into retiring overseas but you never know. The couple that retired in Belize live off of their social security!!! Yeah, that's all they live off of!!! I doubt that I'm going to move overseas when I retire...but you never know. At least I have the option, if I want. Plus, the article mentioned something about being able to retire as early as 40!!! That's just seven years away!!! I won't be ready to retire then I don't think, but if I am, Belize here I come!!! LOL!!!

I think I have fooled around long enough on the internet for now!!! I have to go get dressed and stuff!!! Have a super awesome Friday everyone!!!!

My mission should I choose to accept it...

I was trying to figure out what to blog about today...so I read through all of the PYHO posts trying to come up with something. I got several great ideas but none of them were really what I "wanted" to blog about today. I was struggling...and then it hit me. Mission:Declutter. I have a serious clutter problem in my house. I like stuff, so I buy it, or someone gives it to me or I find it...I could go on forever here but seriously, I have too much stuff.

The hubs and I live in a house that's approximately 1200sq ft. It's a decent size for us, since we don't have kids, although I still think it's too small. We are big people, even when we're "skinny" and we have two big dogs and a cat. There is NO WAY that a baby would fit in this house!!! (Yes we have an extra bedroom but it's the computer room and the cat box room so clearly the baby couldn't go there!!!) Obviously, if we had to make room, we would but I really don't want to. I know, that sounds really bad of me but it's true, I don't want to have a baby while I live in this house. It's a cracker box...too small. I'm not saying that I want 10,000sq ft, that's just ridiculous and I don't make and won't ever make enough money to pay someone else to clean it, so there goes that idea. Honestly, I don't need that much space and I don't think that I ever will, I just don't see it...unless we have eight kids or something but I don't plan on that!

Anyway, back to my mission. I am going to declutter my house. Sometimes I think I have a problem, then I watch "Hoarders:Buried Alive" and realize that I don't. I'm just lazy. That is the unfortunate truth...but I am going to change that because being lazy for 33 years is long enough!!! I start looking around me and I start to get completely overwhelmed...but then, I did this to myself so, I can undo it. Yes, it's going to be a long hard road and I am not going to like it, but it must be done. Good bye clutter!!! I'm sure that I will miss it and my house will NEVER be spotless but I can minimize the clutter.

Here's a picture of my desk...just so you have an idea. I'm going to start in my bathroom because it's the smallest room in the house and I am going to be better able to make headway there. This is going to be a process but I hope to have it completed by August 19th. I'll keep you updated!!!
P.S. I have decided on the order in which I'm decluttering: bathroom, bedroom, living room, dining room, den, laundry room, kitchen, computer room!