This is a very hard post to write. I don't want to write this, I don't want to say this about myself. However, I think that confession is good for the soul. I think that I need to say this. I feel like I have been hiding behind this for a really long time and I don't like that. I need to change and I am going to need some accountability.
I confess that I am very lazy, in a lot of areas of my life. I would like to sit here and tell you that I just procrastinate but that's not the case, I'm just lazy and it has to stop. It is causing me a great amount of pain, both physically and emotionally and it all really hit home for me last night.
I am a nurse, I just started a new job this week at a small hospital nearby. I LOVE IT!!!! I am so happy there, I am going to have a great experience and it will be invaluable. That being said, being on my feet for 12 hours nearly literally pushed me to my limit physically. This is because I'm fat. I'm fat because I'm lazy. I don't really overeat, I don't really eat a bunch of junk. I'm just lazy. Period. However, that all ends as of Monday.
I have some things in my life that I have to change, some of them physical, some of them emotional. I'm not looking for perfection, just some change. All of it will be positive, but it is going to take some time. It all amounts to stopping my laziness and fear. I thought I had dealt with my fear but apparently not all of it. So, I have to start dealing with it...again. I can't really figure out what made it all happen, like it has but I am changing it.
I'm going to start a journey to get healthier, not just physically, but emotionally. First of all, I have to get healthy physically. I have to start eating healthy and working out. Obviously, I have to start small, I can't do everything all at once but small changes will be the starting point. The first thing I'm doing is giving up coke, all of it. I'm not giving up caffeine, I'm not crazy but coke isn't just caffeine, it's sugar and empty calories. It's just not good for anyone and I don't want to drink it anymore. I want to start with that, and making better choices when I eat. I don't know about eating less, necessarily, just better foods.
Next, I'm going to start working out. Obviously, I have to start slowly and maybe just work out two or three days a week. I don't know if I can stand to work out when I'm working but I maybe need to, if I can. I'm just going to have to figure that out. There's a wellness center at work that I can use while I'm there, when I decide that I can.
So it's a start, I'm not perfect and I can't do it all at once but I'm going to take it one day at a time...
5 comments:
You got this girl! I will be your accountabiity...I need some too.. I have to lose some weight before I can have surrgery.... let's do it!a
I am with you on this! I was doing so well then totally fell off! I need to set a side a day or two to give up sodas so I can have the horrible headaches that ensue, then I'll be ready to go. If we went to the same gym, I would go with you every day. I miss working out and I was planning on Monday getting back to it. Let me know what you're doing and when you're doing it. I'd be willing even just to go walking at the park after Chris gets home from work. I just need to do SOMETHING!
You can do this!!!!
I hate working out at first. Once it's a habit, though, I love going.
When I started working out regularly 8+ years ago, it made so many wonderful changes in my life. Do it! Don't wait! It is SOOOO worth the effort!
You can totally do it! I think it is all about habits! It's super hard to break habits, but once you create new habits those will be super hard to break to - so as long as the new habits are healthy ones you'll be making steps towards your goals in no time!
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