It's been a while...

So...it's been forever since I've blogged. I miss blogging. I wish I had time or energy to do it everyday but they are killing us with busy work at school. It's driving me crazy. At least this is the last semester of this part!!! I'm going on to get my bachelor's and master's but that's a few years from now. I'll be old and gray...well, I'm already gray but shit happens. (Sorry, it's true and there's not a better way to say that!) Anyway, I won't be that old...I might be 40 when I'm finished which gives me a good 20-30 years to work, depending on how long I feel like it. Yes, I said feel like it. I only get to live once and I'm not spending my entire life working. Obviously, I have to work, I have to pay bills, that kind of thing but, I'm not going to let work be my entire life. I have other things I want to do. I want to go to Italy, I am going to go to Hawaii in 2 years...something to consider when planning schooling. I think we're going in the summer though so I can work around that. I'm going to work around it because I'm going to Hawaii, wouldn't miss it for the world. It's not something one gets to do every day and some people never get to. I choose to, I want to. It's an experience that I want to have. Going to Italy and France is another one. So, I'm going.

Anyway, I am so ready to be done with school that I can't see straight. 56 more days until graduation, I'm so ready!!! School is about to drive me crazy and it really sucks that I have 3-4 more years left of it before I'm done!!! I've about had it but I have to keep going because I feel like I'll regret it if I don't and the upside is that I can still work as a floor nurse even if I have my master's. Basically, I can do both if I want to, so I can have my cake and eat it too. I don't know that I'll do that but I might. It depends on if we have kids or not, I can't spend all my time at work either, I refuse to do that. Life is more than just work, but I think it's important to love what you do. I think that I will enjoy being a nurse practitioner, actually I know that I will. I'm just not sure what specialty yet, right now I'm leaning toward cardiology but I love kids. I HATED my pediatrics class, which I think had more to do with the instructor than anything but there are other things that I think about that I'm not sure if I can handle. Several things that could be a game changer for me such as a really sick kid that I know won't make it. That sucks, it's reality, but it sucks. Obviously, death is a part of life and kids get sick too but that doesn't make it any better in my mind. I worked for hospice for two years and we had 3 different kids and it sucked every time. I'm glad that we were able to provide the service both for the kids and the families but it sucked, one case especially. That one will stick with me forever...so there's that to consider. There's also the occaional child that I will run into that is being abused. I don't know if I can handle that...I haven't done that well with it in the past. I've been exposed to children that have been abused and it just doesn't compute well in my mind. Obviously, there is something that I need to deal with but I just don't know how to make that right in my head, because it isn't and there's no excuse for it. There's also the parent issue, I'm talking about the parents that think every little thing is the worst thing ever and that their child has the most severe case of it known to man. That drives me insane, give me a little credit for the time that I spend in school and the education that I have. Obviously, I don't know everything, I never claimed to but I do know more about it than you do, seeing as I have been educated, so, give me credit for that. Now, if your gut tells you that something is going on then please feel free to share that with me. There's nothing like parental instinct, I know this much and I give credit there. I'm not a parent but I've seen it in action and I know that it works and that, most of the time, there is something to it. However, you have to consider that, unfortunately, it may take some time for me to figure out what's going on and there may be multiple tests involved. Some things are not as obvious as others and some things don't give obvious clues as to what they are so give me a little time and a little credit. I will find out what's going on but I may have to involve other doctors and practitioners and I have no problem doing that. You have an obligation to allow me to do my job without questioning every move I make, again, give me the professional courtesy and credit. I will do the same. If you think that I am doing something wrong or unnecessary then feel free to say so, just do it with courtesy and respect, then I can show you the same. Also, if you don't understand, feel free to ask...you just have to be respectful about it. You know? These are the things that I worry about and I know that they're legitimate concerns...so, I just don't know. Obviously, I have to make a decision but I don't have to do it right now. Plus, I have to finish school and I'll be working as I do so I'll have time to figure out what I like. Hopefully, I have a job that will translate into a nursing job once I take and pass boards!!!

Anyway, it was just time for me to blog...I needed to...blogging is so therapeutic. There are about a billion more things I wanted to say but I'm starting to get tired and I need to do some other things so I'm gonna stop for now. Good night blogsphere. Have an awesome weekend!!!