Pour Your Heart Out

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have been thinking about lots of things. Mostly about finances but other things too. School, babies, life...it's such a jumble. I am really tired right now so this might be a little discombobulated...especially since it took about five minutes for me to come up with the word discombobulated!!! LOL!!! I didn't get a lot of sleep last night due to working. I am taking care of two hospice patients, a husband and wife and the husband is total care. It is a very sad case. He requires medication every two hours along with other care. This is why I didn't get but maybe an hour of sleep last night.

I also had to take a test at school this morning. I did well regardless of no sleep!!! I made an 85. The upside is that I will get four points on my next test, I think it's four, it might be two, again, lack of sleep is dictating a lot of this so sorry I'm so disorganized. Anyway, I came home and took about a two hour nap. Now I have to study for a test and write two papers. This whole writing papers bit is getting old. I enjoy "writing" but not for school. The research part isn't so bad but the actual writing of the paper sucks. We have to use APA format which I HATE!!! The thing that I find strange is that we, as nursing students, are using the American Psychology Association format. I don't like it, it's very complicated and annoying. Plus, I'm not getting a degree in English, I'm getting my RN. I'm not saying that it's not important to be able to communicate through the written word but I don't have a problem there. I may not be the most articulate person on the planet but I can communicate effectively. I have taken English 1301 and 1302 as per the graduate plan. I had to write papers for those classes...I think I've done my school writing. I found out that I have to write another paper next semester...ugh!!! I'll get them done but I don't have to like it...and I won't. I'll just complain about it to my faithful readers.


Anyway, I digress. I have been thinking a lot about my/our current financial situation...and I don't like it. We do not make good choices when it comes to our money. We act like teenagers with no responsibilities. It's beyond ridiculous and I am tired of it. Right now, we don't make tons of money because I don't work full time. I do work some but it's only 22 hours a week and I'm not always timely turning in my paperwork to my actual job. That generally works to my benefit though because my checks are bigger...but still, I need to be more responsible about turning in my paperwork on time. My husband makes decent money but we have a lot of bills. Some of them are by choice, like our cell phones and internet and some, obviously, are not. You have to pay water, electricity and gas whether you like it or not. We also have two car payments and a loan payment which are all three optional. I will probably have a car payment forever, by choice. However, I can have that if I can gain financial control, I mean WHEN I/we gain financial control.


We have to take control of our finances before I start making good money or we will be in debt up to our eyeballs quickly. I don't want that. I don't want to owe my life to someone else. I want to be able to buy what I need without having to figure out what to give up or what bill to put off. Granted, some of this is poor spending habits which is another thing that we have to gain control of. The impulse spending has got to stop. I will have a pretty good amount of debt when I graduate from student loans. I wish that I didn't have those but unfortunately, that was my best option. I will start paying on them as soon as I get a job after graduation because obviously, I can't make payments if I don't make money.


The other issue is we have to get on a budget and stick to it. This will be difficult because we like to spend money. We are very immature when it comes to our money, something that is a little puzzling to me. I'll admit, I didn't have great role modeling when it came to money issues but it seems as though that should be something that is logical and easily controlled. I mean, it should be as simple as, "I don't need that"...but that doesn't seem to be enough for us. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending money on things that you like to do, if you like to go to the movies, go to the movies. You don't have to go every night, but once or twice a month should be satisfactory. If not, perhaps a dollar movie or a discount theater. There's always the option of staying home and watching Netflix. I think maybe what our problem is has more to do with impulsiveness and laziness. The laziness part has to do with us going out to eat instead of eating at home. There's just the two of us and it's extremely hard for either of us to cook for two. Granted, he does more cooking than I do because I'm not a great cook and it's overwhelming to me. This is something that I am going to have to work on because obviously, once we have kids, we can't be going out to eat every night...even to McDonald's. I'm talking about the money issue and the health issue. I don't even want my kids to EVER eat McDonald's but realistically, it will probably happen. It just doesn't have to happen often. That's a whole other issue though. We're concentrating on finances here.


So, I've said all of this to say that big financial changes are on the horizon. We are going to have to figure things out. Obviously, we will have to sit down and discuss all of this, and we have, to an extent. We just have to commit to it. Sometimes it's about making up your mind and then you become successful. The more you tell yourself something, you will start to believe it. My first statement of affirmation is, "I will gain financial control BEFORE I graduate from nursing school"! :) Have a great Wednesday everyone!