I'VE MADE A DECISION!!! (Warning:This is a very HONEST post)

I am going to lose weight. There, I said it, out loud...sort of. I am posting this because I am going to need some help with accountability. I am going to let my friends and family know. It is time for a change. This is not a diet, this is a lifestyle change. I am tired of being unhealthy. I have history of heart problems in my family and if I don't get myself under control, I will probably end up with them. I already have some warning signs, granted, they are mild, but they are signs of pending congestive heart failure. I have known this for a while now and chosen to do nothing about it. That was pretty dumb, no stupid, on my part. I am not a stupid person so why I thought ignoring these signs was the right thing to do...I'm not sure. I overused that defense mechanism and reverted to my teenage "ten feet tall and bullet proof" attitude. Obviously, that is not the case, I am a human, not a superhero. (On a side note, if you haven't seen "Kick-Ass" you should do so, immediately!!!)

So, I am going to have to make LOTS of changes. Obviously, I can't do everything at once but as for the healthy choices when it comes to food, that's pretty easy. Going out to eat will be a challenge but I have several resources there, I mean, I have the internet. There's weightwatchers.com, there's hungrygirl.com, there's sparkpeople.com and that's just 3 of the plethora that are out there. Those are the three that I will probably use the most because they fit with my life and choices the best. I don't know if I am going to do Weight Watchers or not but I like their philosophy because they help you to make a lifestyle change, not just go on a diet. Hungry Girl just gives healthier food options and Spark People is a motivation website. I think the combination of the three will work perfectly for me. Plus, I can track my weight loss and goals on both Spark People and Weight Watchers. 

As for the changes, I am going to start with the very simple, obvious things. I am going to stop drinking so much coke (here in Texas, coke means anything with carbonation). If I must have coke, then I will drink the diet or zero option or the splenda option. I am not going to buy 12 packs or 2 liters or 6 packs to keep in the house. I don't want them to be easy access because if they are, I will drink them. Diet cokes are not really all that much better than regular and I have struggled with this decision. Diet cokes have some ingredients in them that are really bad for humans...so, if I don't buy them or have easy access to them, then I am less likely to drink them and expose myself to those ingredients/chemicals. I also think that by being in a convenience store or having to go somewhere to purchase a coke, I will hopefully talk myself out of it...but if I don't, it's not the end of the world. The upside is that once I start to do this, regular, sugary coke won't taste good anymore so I won't drink it. 

I am also going to start buying more fruits and veggies and keeping them in the house. However, before I even take that step, we have to stop eating out so much and buy groceries instead. As a couple, it is easier for us to eat out. That being said, that is obviously not the healthy option and I don't care where it is you eat out. Yes, Subway is a healthier option than McDonald's, generahttp://www.subway.com/subwayroot/index.aspxlly speaking, but there are things at Subway that are just as unhealthy as the Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder! Go to subway.com and look up your favorite sandwich, you might be shocked. I was and I usually eat the turkey breast, which is one of the healthier options but if I remember correctly, the under 6 grams of fat does not include having cheese on the sub. I had to go double check because I didn't want to mislead anyone, now they have it with the cheese. I believe that in the past cheese wasn't included but that's pretty irrelevant. Anyway, that is very helpful and sometimes shocking information. The turkey breast with cheese on nine grain wheat bread has 280 calories, 3.5g of fat, 910mg sodium (WHAT?!?! Read: processed). Overall, not so bad, minus the sodium content, but that is the price of eating processed food. That also just made me have an epiphany, part of the reason that my feet are swelling is because I probably have too much sodium and then I just sit around all day so I get dependent edema/swelling!!! DUH!!! I love having epiphanies, they make me feel like such a MORON!!! LOL!!! They're good to have though, they help me keep things in perspective. But, as usual, I digress...processed foods are not that healthy so we have to be careful. That's why eating out can be a minefield. As I typed that it felt like my feet were swelling so I got up and made a circle around the inside of the house 4 or 5 times at a brisk pace until my breathing rate increased. Hey, it's a start and my Kylee boo thinks I'm crazy!!! It's all good though, I may have to act a little crazy until I get where I want to be!!!

Ok, enough about processed food. The other thing that I have to work on is my temper because that, along with the stress affects my heart. Now, as I was trying to look up the Subway information, my computer kept freezing. Normally, I lose it, scream at my computer, hit my table...that kind of thing. This time, I decided that it wasn't worth that so I took deep breaths, amazingly, the overwhelming feeling of anger dissolved. Albeit, not immediately, and I had to do this for a period of about 20 minutes, but, I did it. I tend to let little things get to me, and make me lose my mind. I don't really know why. Is it the end of the world that my computer is slow? Not really, so why does it make my blood boil? I'm sure there's an underlying cause, but, overall, I can control that. I don't have to get crazy every time my computer goes slow. Right now, I have Windows Virus, I mean Vista, as my operating system and such is life. Deal with it!!! (I have to talk harshly to myself sometimes because I tend to ignore or "forget" things I don't want to hear!) Anyway, until I am able to purchase Windows 7, it's something I have to deal with and it's not worth getting all worked up over. 

The temper thing tends to be the worst when I drive. I have figured out that I have extreme or severe anxiety when I drive. It's related to lots of things but since I now know, I can begin to work on controlling it. (If you want to know what the deal is, email me and I'll tell you, it will just take too long to get into it here.) Anyway, most of the time I do pretty well unless someone else is in the car with me, that makes me even more anxious and I tend to lash out at the drivers around me. I am really afraid that I will hurt or kill the people in the car with me. I'm fine when it's just me, usually, but when someone else is at stake, it's madness. Now, I don't say that to say that I don't think my life is important, but if I kill me, then I have to be responsible for myself, make sense? If I kill someone else, then I am responsible for taking their life and I don't know if I can handle that. So it's something that I have to work on. 


I've said all of this to say that I have a long road ahead of me. I will need the support of my friends and family. There is an awesome world of bloggy friends that will continue to inspire and support me as well and I thank you for that. You guys are awesome and I am grateful for you!


On a side note, there is another area of my life that needs some work and I will be posting on that later, I thought this one was long enough!! Have a great Thursday!!!!

Post-It-Note Tuesday with Supah Mommy!!! Stick em up!!!

Music Mondays

This song ALWAYS makes me wanna get my groove on!!! Go link up with Shelly and play along!

Getting to know you...on Monday...LOL

1. If a person has a booger in their nose. and you can see it, do you tell them?

It depends on who it is...not some random person but friends and family yes ;)


2. What are you passionate about?
My friends and family and their wellbeing.


3. How long have you been blogging?
a year and 10 months...holy cow!!! LOL


4. What is your favorite "summer" drink?
This summer, it's beer, pretty much any flavor...LOL!!! My fave is Dos Equis!!!


5. What is your favorite type of music?
Mostly rock but I like pretty much everything with a few exceptions!


6. Something I do before I go to bed is......?
pee, brush my teeth, put on my pj's....LOL


7. My Summer vacation plans are...?
I don't have any...I'm in summer school & probably won't go until after I'm out but we did talk about going to Colorado for a week or so!


8. My favorite must have, can't live without, beauty product is?
mascara...I have long eyelashes so it's my fave!!!

Therapy

I'm having to post for a little therapy. I just read for my mental health class and I read the chapter on depression...it was a little depressing (no pun intended) so I decided to reiterate what a great life I have!!! I am so blessed by the people in my life. I have a great family, a super awesome husband and great friends. I am going to a birthday party tonight for one of my friends 21st birthday. (That does make me feel a little old but hey, she invited me so I'm gonna go and have a ball!!!) Anyway, tonight should be super fun although I may end up as the DD since I can't get drunk (I have to work at 9am)! It's all good though, we can have some fun even if I don't drink the night away. Plus, I have to study tomorrow too so I can't really be hungover. It's not a state I enjoy anyway so I'm going to avoid that! Thanks to all my friends and family for their support during this ordeal they call nursing school!!! Without support, I don't think I would have been able to do this and I still sometimes question my sanity!!! ;) I know that I've made the right choice, I just have to get through the schooling to get there. I hope you guys have a great rest of your week and a blessed and safe weekend!!! Toodles!!!!

Inspiration

Today has been an inspiring day so far! I have read some awesome blogs, gotten some awesome tips, and been inspired!! Although, just as I was typing that, our stupid air conditioner tripped the breaker!!! GEEZ!!! I thought it was blown though because for a minute, it wouldn't do anything...so I went to the bedroom and the fan was turned off, I forgot that the breaker that runs the ac runs my bedroom too!!! GRRR!!! Back to the breaker and it finally turned back on, thank goodness. It is supposed to get super hot the next few days and it's already really hot outside. So...now that ordeal is over, I can go back to being inspired! LOL!!! I'm really glad that I didn't have to call the hubby and tell him that the ac quit again!!! He's been replacing part after part trying to get the darn thing to work. Perhaps I should take him up on the installation of central heat and air. The only thing that holds me back is that I don't know if the wiring in our house can take it. I don't know that we have a big enough load...if that makes any sense. Our house isn't that old but it wasn't designed very well. It has maybe one plug in every room and only 4 breakers for the whole house. Granted, we don't have a huge house, we're close to 1200 sq feet, but 4 breakers?!?!? Really?!?!? I don't know, I'm kind of surprised that we even have 220. I'll bet that this house is not even close to up to code, I don't know. Luckily, we have several electricians in the family so if we were to need major work, we wouldn't be out as much as the average person would and for that I am extremely grateful!!! (This heat is inspiring me to move back to the mountains though! LOL)

I have to say that even though I gripe...a lot...I lead an amazingly blessed life. I have great friends and family and a superb husband. I am extremely grateful for him. I couldn't get by without him, I don't think and I don't like to think about that anyway. I shouldn't gripe so much, really! I am going to try to be more positive. Having a positive attitude can make an amazing change in your day, your brain is so much more powerful than you give it credit for!!! So, count your blessings today folks, I am off to study!!! Have a safe and blessed weekend!!!

Pizazz

My blog needs a little pizazz. I have all the basic stuff but have no idea how to dress it up like some of the really cool blogs I see out there. I finally got to do post-it-note Tuesday with Supah and that's pretty cool. Granted, I did that yesterday instead of Tuesday but I did it!!! I just want the cool backgrounds, buttons, all of that stuff because my blog seems very plain. So, if someone out there in the blogworld would tell me how to do this, I would be ever so grateful.

On that note, this is going to be a super short blog because I have a lot to do today, namely studying for my test Monday but there's always laundry and cleanup to do too!!! Have a great Thursday!!!