I'VE MADE A DECISION!!! (Warning:This is a very HONEST post)

I am going to lose weight. There, I said it, out loud...sort of. I am posting this because I am going to need some help with accountability. I am going to let my friends and family know. It is time for a change. This is not a diet, this is a lifestyle change. I am tired of being unhealthy. I have history of heart problems in my family and if I don't get myself under control, I will probably end up with them. I already have some warning signs, granted, they are mild, but they are signs of pending congestive heart failure. I have known this for a while now and chosen to do nothing about it. That was pretty dumb, no stupid, on my part. I am not a stupid person so why I thought ignoring these signs was the right thing to do...I'm not sure. I overused that defense mechanism and reverted to my teenage "ten feet tall and bullet proof" attitude. Obviously, that is not the case, I am a human, not a superhero. (On a side note, if you haven't seen "Kick-Ass" you should do so, immediately!!!)

So, I am going to have to make LOTS of changes. Obviously, I can't do everything at once but as for the healthy choices when it comes to food, that's pretty easy. Going out to eat will be a challenge but I have several resources there, I mean, I have the internet. There's weightwatchers.com, there's hungrygirl.com, there's sparkpeople.com and that's just 3 of the plethora that are out there. Those are the three that I will probably use the most because they fit with my life and choices the best. I don't know if I am going to do Weight Watchers or not but I like their philosophy because they help you to make a lifestyle change, not just go on a diet. Hungry Girl just gives healthier food options and Spark People is a motivation website. I think the combination of the three will work perfectly for me. Plus, I can track my weight loss and goals on both Spark People and Weight Watchers. 

As for the changes, I am going to start with the very simple, obvious things. I am going to stop drinking so much coke (here in Texas, coke means anything with carbonation). If I must have coke, then I will drink the diet or zero option or the splenda option. I am not going to buy 12 packs or 2 liters or 6 packs to keep in the house. I don't want them to be easy access because if they are, I will drink them. Diet cokes are not really all that much better than regular and I have struggled with this decision. Diet cokes have some ingredients in them that are really bad for humans...so, if I don't buy them or have easy access to them, then I am less likely to drink them and expose myself to those ingredients/chemicals. I also think that by being in a convenience store or having to go somewhere to purchase a coke, I will hopefully talk myself out of it...but if I don't, it's not the end of the world. The upside is that once I start to do this, regular, sugary coke won't taste good anymore so I won't drink it. 

I am also going to start buying more fruits and veggies and keeping them in the house. However, before I even take that step, we have to stop eating out so much and buy groceries instead. As a couple, it is easier for us to eat out. That being said, that is obviously not the healthy option and I don't care where it is you eat out. Yes, Subway is a healthier option than McDonald's, generahttp://www.subway.com/subwayroot/index.aspxlly speaking, but there are things at Subway that are just as unhealthy as the Big Mac or Double Quarter Pounder! Go to subway.com and look up your favorite sandwich, you might be shocked. I was and I usually eat the turkey breast, which is one of the healthier options but if I remember correctly, the under 6 grams of fat does not include having cheese on the sub. I had to go double check because I didn't want to mislead anyone, now they have it with the cheese. I believe that in the past cheese wasn't included but that's pretty irrelevant. Anyway, that is very helpful and sometimes shocking information. The turkey breast with cheese on nine grain wheat bread has 280 calories, 3.5g of fat, 910mg sodium (WHAT?!?! Read: processed). Overall, not so bad, minus the sodium content, but that is the price of eating processed food. That also just made me have an epiphany, part of the reason that my feet are swelling is because I probably have too much sodium and then I just sit around all day so I get dependent edema/swelling!!! DUH!!! I love having epiphanies, they make me feel like such a MORON!!! LOL!!! They're good to have though, they help me keep things in perspective. But, as usual, I digress...processed foods are not that healthy so we have to be careful. That's why eating out can be a minefield. As I typed that it felt like my feet were swelling so I got up and made a circle around the inside of the house 4 or 5 times at a brisk pace until my breathing rate increased. Hey, it's a start and my Kylee boo thinks I'm crazy!!! It's all good though, I may have to act a little crazy until I get where I want to be!!!

Ok, enough about processed food. The other thing that I have to work on is my temper because that, along with the stress affects my heart. Now, as I was trying to look up the Subway information, my computer kept freezing. Normally, I lose it, scream at my computer, hit my table...that kind of thing. This time, I decided that it wasn't worth that so I took deep breaths, amazingly, the overwhelming feeling of anger dissolved. Albeit, not immediately, and I had to do this for a period of about 20 minutes, but, I did it. I tend to let little things get to me, and make me lose my mind. I don't really know why. Is it the end of the world that my computer is slow? Not really, so why does it make my blood boil? I'm sure there's an underlying cause, but, overall, I can control that. I don't have to get crazy every time my computer goes slow. Right now, I have Windows Virus, I mean Vista, as my operating system and such is life. Deal with it!!! (I have to talk harshly to myself sometimes because I tend to ignore or "forget" things I don't want to hear!) Anyway, until I am able to purchase Windows 7, it's something I have to deal with and it's not worth getting all worked up over. 

The temper thing tends to be the worst when I drive. I have figured out that I have extreme or severe anxiety when I drive. It's related to lots of things but since I now know, I can begin to work on controlling it. (If you want to know what the deal is, email me and I'll tell you, it will just take too long to get into it here.) Anyway, most of the time I do pretty well unless someone else is in the car with me, that makes me even more anxious and I tend to lash out at the drivers around me. I am really afraid that I will hurt or kill the people in the car with me. I'm fine when it's just me, usually, but when someone else is at stake, it's madness. Now, I don't say that to say that I don't think my life is important, but if I kill me, then I have to be responsible for myself, make sense? If I kill someone else, then I am responsible for taking their life and I don't know if I can handle that. So it's something that I have to work on. 


I've said all of this to say that I have a long road ahead of me. I will need the support of my friends and family. There is an awesome world of bloggy friends that will continue to inspire and support me as well and I thank you for that. You guys are awesome and I am grateful for you!


On a side note, there is another area of my life that needs some work and I will be posting on that later, I thought this one was long enough!! Have a great Thursday!!!!