Gotta do it...

Today is one of those days, reflective kind of days. Got a lot of things banging around in my head...but yet, it's time to make a decision. And I hate making decisions, or maybe it's that I hate sticking to them, I don't know. But I have to do something. And today has to be the day that I begin. 

Let me start off with the things that I am happy with in my life. First and foremost, I'm happy with my husband. That man is amazing and I am truly grateful that he found me. He supports me and stabilizes me. He is amazing and I am blessed to have him in my life. He truly loves me unconditionally and even though our relationship is far from perfect, it is truly amazing and blessed.

I am also very grateful for my family. They are also an amazing support system. They are a blessing as well. There are a lot of times that I have been down and out that they have brought me back up. 

I am grateful for my job. I really truly feel that I am where I am supposed to be and love that I feel like I am finally making a difference in someone's life. This is one of the many reasons that I chose nursing and while I feel that the future may be uncertain, I am going to remain strong.

Ok, back to the original reason for this post. I am unhappy with some things in my life. Things that I am able to change and today that change begins. It is going to be a hard road but I am putting it out there because I need some accountability. I am part of an amazing group right now that will be some of my accountability, but I need more. So here it is.

First of all, I want to be healthy. That involves losing weight, obviously but there is so much more to it than that. I want to be able to do the things I used to do, I want to be able to run, play basketball (for fun of course), and get down on the floor and play with my nieces and nephews without having to worry about how the heck I will get back up. I want to eat food that actually fuels my body, not this overprocessed crap that's out there. I want my family to be healthy too but I have to start with me. I have to lead by example :) Health includes physical, mental and emotional. So there are a lot of things involved in that, and several avenues to pursue there. But this post will go on for eternity if I list all of this so suffice it to say, I have some work to do here.

Secondly, I want to stop second guessing myself, and being lazy. Part of being healthy involves exercise, which I actually don't mind doing, but I have serious pain, and I seem to have a problem getting around that. The pain leads to fear, that I won't be able to do what I set out to do. And so, to combat that, I'm just going to start. I'm going to exercise and eat properly. No, I won't be perfect, because no one is, but I want to be healthy overall and I just have to start going. 

So there it is, it's out there. I need some support and courage. But I am going to do this, in spite of myself. :)