It's been crazy around here. I started school last week and it is fast and furious. I am scared to death and yet, I know I can do it. Everything kind of cemented today when I was talking to my sister who is already planning her trip for next May to see me graduate. Wait what?!?!? Graduate?!!?!? I just started school!!! Ok, it's actually been a year and a half ago that I started but it seems like yesterday and ten years ago, all at the same time. I am super excited and scared to death about graduation. I am getting a great education and I will be a great nurse...but it's so scary, and final. It kind of sunk in today and now I'm a little freaked out. This is what I wanted, it's why I decided to go to nursing school but really, do I have what it takes to be a nurse? On one hand, I say yes but it makes my stomach hurt. I'm planning on continuing on and getting my masters as well but...that's just too much to even consider right at the moment.
This semester seems so much busier and harder than any other semester. I am taking two classes, pediatrics and med surg. This is my third semester of med surg, so I don't feel like I'm going to have a lot of trouble with this class. Plus, several of my friends took it this summer and they said that if I'll just go to class and pay attention, I shouldn't have any trouble. Pediatrics scares me to death!!! I love kids, I think that clinicals will be a blast. I can't wait to take care of kids...but, this class is SCARY!!! I have been reading and trying to do everything to keep up but the book is like a powerful sedative. It's very dry and I'm having a hard time reading it. I understand what I read but it's just not easy to read...I don't really enjoy it. I like to read, anything really. I haven't had any trouble reading my other textbooks but this one is killing me! I don't know why. This class is very intense, our professor expects a lot from us, as well she should. Kids can't always tell you what's going on or they don't know enough words to express themselves so it's important to be extremely precise as a pediatric nurse. I guess I wonder if I have the capacity. I thought that pediatrics might be one of the areas I wanted to work but now I don't know if I have what it takes...it just scares me. I plan on spending a lot of this weekend studying. Granted, I'll be in Angelfire with my friend but we can do some studying. She's a nursing student too and none of us turn study time down, especially with friends.
I can think of two things that brought this anxiety on. First, my sister making plans to come to my graduation and then we had clinical orientation today and we are going to have a lot more responsibility. Of course, we are getting more and more responsibility as we progress through the program but still, it's just scary. The funny thing is, until now, I was completely confident in my abilities...what changed? I don't know but I gotta get it together because I have some reading to do for pediatrics! ;)
5 comments:
Don't be worried that you are scared. How boring would life be if we never did anything that scared us? I understand though, I feel the same way when I think about graduating.
Of course pedi is scary. There is less room for error cause they are so little. Also it is painful to see kids sick and to see their parents scared. It is good that you are a little scared because you will study harder. But girl you do have what it takes. A first class brain, a compassionate heart, and now just enough fear to keep you humble. We all learn better when we are humble. Just to add to your stress; we are making plans to be there too! Graduation that is. Wouldn't miss it for the world. You are going to be a great nurse. And I suspect a wonderful nurse practitioner.
Rachel--good point!! Graduating is the scariest part because then we have to do this for real!!! LOL
Paula--Thanks! It does suck to see the little ones sick or hurt, it's crazy the things they do to themselves, accidentally! The upside is that they are amazing in that they heal & recover from things that they "shouldn't"! I'm excited for y'all to come to graduation!!!
Sarah, you have chosen a challenging field of work. And you've gone so far now that it's downhill from here on out. I am thrilled that you'll be graduating next year. And I know you will be a fantastic nurse.
Thanks Linda!!! I'm going to need your address so that I can send you & Alex an invite!!! :)
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