I'm an aunt again!!!

Miss Deborah Lucille Oliver made her appearance today!!! I am so excited!!! I'm an aunt times two! My other sister had our first nephew, Joseph Howard Sparhawk last July! She is due to have another little boy this July! Becoming an aunt is exciting, scary and a bunch of other feelings all wrapped up in each other.

There was a time in my life when I would have been completely jealous and unable to be happy for my sisters because I was too caught up in my own grief. I am beyond that, emotionally. That's not to say that I don't still have some sadness attached to not having babies of my own yet but I am happy for them. I am working on becoming that person who is happy regardless of what is going on around me. The hardest part is that I want everything to be fixed permanently and quickly, and our emotions don't work that way.

This became more evident to me than ever this semester. I had my OB class, which I was honestly not looking forward to at all, I was truly afraid that I would be unable to handle it, emotionally. However, I did very well. I did tear up at all the births that I saw, but I wasn't the only one. However, they were all tears of joy, not tears of anger or envy. I am proud of that. I actually handled this whole semester much better than I thought I would be able to. It's amazing what we can handle and it's always much more than we think. I keep finding that I am much stronger emotinally than I think I am even though I still have the breakdowns.

Ok, enough with the deep emotions. I am just ecstatic, I have a healthy niece and nephew and we have another nephew on the way. Now if I can just get pictures of Miss Dee, things will be better!!! Happy Birthday Deborah!!!