Friends...

Well, I was thinking yesterday about my friends & how I have "given up" several of them this past year. It's sad to have to end friendships with people but when it happens, you just go on with it. I bascially stopped communicating with a girl that I had been friends with for several years. She & I just stopped being able to find a common ground I guess, plus she was just too needy. She had zero self confidence & I got really tired of having to defend or explain EVERYTHING I did so...we just sort of stopped talking, emailing, etc. I finally deleted her & her family from my phone. I used to get emails from her mom too but haven't in a while. I really hope that she is doing okay but I don't want to rekindle that friendship...I just want someone who can be my friend& not expect me to be their friend, counselor, financial guru...etc.

Another friend that I just quit talking to, was a guy I've been friends with for a while. I just got really tired of all the lies that he told. He's a compulsive liar & the final straw was when he told me he had cancer, and didn't...one of his many false ailments, I might add. The worst one was when he told everyone he had full blown aids, what a load of crap. He seems to forget that I am in the medical community & privy to a lot of information that allows me to call him on his bullshit. The worst part was when I offered to drive him to "chemo" he gave me some lame excuse about the doctor not being able to be there to start the chemo so he couldn't do it. Um, doctors don't administer chemo, nurses do...if you're going to lie, at least get your facts straight. Not to mention the fact that his life is all about the drama...I mean, I like a little drama in my life now & then to keep things interesting but, I get tired of it. I don't want to live in a soap opera!!! I have enough trouble keeping my real life straight...GEEZ!!! He was also really immature & unfortunately, I don't see that changing, EVER, so I gave up. That was really hard for me because I don't like to give up on people but over & over it was the same thing with him...

The one that I am really sad about is someone that I've been friends with for about 10 years. She is in a bad marriage & can't see that. Her husband is gay, I'm pretty sure & he married her as his "beard". He is also an emotional terrorist & told her that we couldn't be friends because I told her the truth. He is bi-polar, supposedly but the more I heard about him, the less I believe that. I would like to see his medical records. I say he's manipulative. He's also being treated for depression, which is a very real condition but he takes advantage of that & it ticks me off. I am very protective of my friends & family & when you try to screw them around, I will call you on it. Grow a set dude, life is tough & the truth hurts. The thing is, everyone at one point in their life had been through the crap. Most of us choose to deal with it & go on. That isn't to say that it never comes back up & causes issues but we just keep on working through it, right? The other thing that just totally chaps me is that he makes her totally dependent on him. She doesn't know how to drive & he refuses to teach her!!! Admittedly, she doesn't push the issue either but she is easily persuaded. She is naive & innocent to the ways of the world due to her mom being WAY overprotective. Yes, all moms are overprotective to a point but she wasn't allowed to experience life the way most of us were & she is somewhat lacking in people knowledge because of it. We used to talk about it all the time & I told her, the best thing for her to do is to stand up for herself but because she feels like she doesn't deserve the best, she doesn't. It irritates me, she is a great person & deserves her prince charming & he just isn't it...at least for now he's not. He has gotten better, I will give him that but there are still things about him that make me crazy. For example, she really wants to have kids & at first, he said he did, then he said he didn't....now, he says that they can have kids when they get out of debt! Right, and pigs will fly out my butt!!! He has student loans coming out his eyeballs. He is in the process of getting a phd, which is admirable, but 2 years of his student loans were for medical school, so that's about $60 grand. Then, when he finishes his phd & starts teaching, they will probably buy a house...do you see where this is going? I told her that isn't a good thing to wait for, plus, she should start to try now, while age isn't a fertility issue. Plus, if there is some kind of issue fertility-wise she can find out now...but he doesn't want to so she doesn't. It's almost an abusive relationship in nature because everytime you point out something he does that he shouldn't, she makes an excuse. Granted, no one is perfect & no one has a perfect relationship but most couples try to make it work by talking about it & they don't. She did finally stand up to him & things changed but not permanently...I don't know, it's just a sad situation & one I don't want to give up on. However, it seems like anytime we talk & I call him on the carpet, he tells her that she shouldn't talk to me because I am disrespecting him. Telling the truth isn't being disrespectful!!! Yeah, no one wants to hear the truth, especially if it's hurtful but most of us know to either ignore it or work on it...I don't know, sometimes I just want to kick his butt & tell him to get a life & leave her alone, but I can't,I can't interfere that way. It's not my call...I just wish that he would let her & I be friends & quit butting in. Friends are going to talk, they are going to say things about the other's family that the person may not especially like but one, the person doesn't always have to tell the family member what was said & two, if the person doesn't like what's being said, perhaps they should confront the person or something...I don't know, I just don't like it & I wish this friendship didn't have to end this way...I still haven't deleted her from my phone in the hopes that things will change...